INT. PEDIATRICIAN’S OFFICE – AN HOUR LATER

Buddy sits on the examining table as Walter watches.

PROP NOTE: Del Close’s skull sits on a shelf in the B.G.

Buddy reaches into a jar of cotton balls and starts eating them quickly one at a time. Like cotton candy nuggets.

WALTER

Don’t eat those.

Buddy goes to eat one more, Walter tries to grab his arm but Buddy fakes him out and eats it anyway.

BUDDY

Am I sick?

WALTER

YES.

(beat)

But that’s not why we’re here. We’re here to test whether you’re my son or not.

BUDDY

Why am I sitting on paper?

Buddy pulls the roll and paper spills out everywhere. The doctor and Walter try to stop him, but get tangled up.

DOCTOR

So it’s clean for each patient that comes in. Try to sit still. I’m going to perform something called a ‘finger prick.’

BUDDY

(happy)

Finger prick!

(to the Doctor)

Can I wear your head lamp?

DOCTOR

No.

BUDDY

Why?

DOCTOR

Just sit still.

BUDDY

Why is there a skeleton on the wall?

DOCTOR

I don’t know but there just is.

BUDDY

What’s his name?

WALTER

He doesn’t have a name!

BUDDY

If I squint, he looks like a pirate flag. Arrgh!

DOCTOR

Walter, I can’t do this if he’s going to keep moving around.

WALTER

I’m sorry Ben. Buddy! Please!

BUDDY

(whispering)

He got mad at me.

WALTER

Buddy the sooner you sit still, the sooner we can clear up this horrible mess.

BUDDY

After this, can we eat sugar plums together?

WALTER

Sure! We’ll eat sugar plums, and make ginger bread houses, and paint eggs!

BUDDY

That’s Easter not –

The Doctor gives Buddy’s finger a tiny prick.

BUDDY

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

Buddy shoves the doctor over and stumbles around holding his finger and crying.

BUDDY

Boot straps! Snow flickers! Son of a cobbler!

From the screenplay ELF by David Berenbaum